Information for Friends and Family
Someone with depression may be unable or unwilling to ask for help. That's why partners, parents, adult children, and friends need to be proactive about getting—and staying—involved. Having consistent support from friends and family can play a crucial role in helping someone seek treatment. Many people are reluctant to discuss their depression. That's why having a support system can make all the difference in someone's life. They'll need someone with whom they can be honest—someone they can lean on.
Tips for How to Be Supportive
Even though you cannot replace treatment given by a healthcare professional, you can have a great impact on someone's life. You can offer them practical as well as emotional support.
- Practical support can include things like making their doctor's appointments for them, picking up their children from school or extracurricular activities, and taking some time to cook a meal with them a couple of times a week
- Emotional support can include calling them nightly to see how they're feeling, meeting for coffee or tea once a week to catch up, and encouraging them to stick with their treatment program. Your emotional support can help get them on the road to improvement
Take Suicidal Thoughts Seriously
Thoughts about death or suicide are common in depression, and it's important to take such thoughts seriously. If someone you are caring for feels like giving up, get help immediately:
- Call your doctor
- Go to the emergency room
- Call 911
- Call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline, 1-800-SUICIDE [1-800-784-2433]
Recognize Depression
Supporting someone with depression begins with the ability to recognize it. Depression can include a broad range of symptoms. Learn as much as you can in order to understand depression.
Make a Commitment
Now that you've decided to support someone with depression, it's a good idea to determine how much time you can give, how much time your friend or loved one will need, if you think you can sustain this relationship over time, the kind of support you think you can offer, and if this experience will be a positive one for you, too.
Break Down Barriers to Support
You may find it difficult to begin a discussion about depression with your friend or loved one, but it doesn't have to be. It may be a matter of choosing the right time to have the conversation. You may find that the words flow more easily if you and your loved one are in a calm environment such as a local park or out to lunch, away from the stresses of work. Try not to pass judgment—your loved one could be feeling vulnerable, so it's important to show concern and compassion. If they know that you are there to be supportive and unbiased, they may be more likely to open up. Don't be surprised or hurt if the person doesn't open up to you immediately. Gentle persistence is the key. Be patient—it could take some time.
Build a Network of Support
As part of one's support system, you should encourage your friend or loved one to seek professional help. Stress to them that it is important for them to speak to a doctor, because only a healthcare professional can diagnose depression. By reminding them to be open with their healthcare provider, you are helping them get on the road toward improvement.
Understand the Journey to Improvement
Even though you are aiding in your loved one's treatment, you need to know that though they may have setbacks and recurring episodes, you should still continue to coach and motivate them. One thing you can do is assist with a wellness plan with definable goals for success. It's a good idea to provide feedback to the person with depression. They may not notice slight changes that you do, so go ahead and share these with them. You could help them gain a positive outlook on their improvement.
Take Care of Yourself
You may find yourself feeling drained and exhausted as you take on this new role as part of a support system. You won't be able to take care of someone else if you don't take care of yourself first. It's OK to take some time each day for yourself, too. Here are some ideas to help you feel good:
- Go see a movie
- Be sure to spend time with friends and family
- Take some time off—you don't have to be on duty 24 hours a day
- Don't lose sight of personal goals you want to achieve
- Write down your feelings—this is a good stress reliever
Your role as a supportive partner is vital. Learn about common questions about treatment and how to talk about depression with a loved one.
